The New Road

Kiss me sweet when I come home ask me how my day has gone touch my back in that spot there show me truly how you care you say that you love me that you couldn't live without me you depend on my providing for the life that you enjoy you take me when you want me and I let you have your way But at night when you are sleeping and the kitchen faucet's leaking and the garbage wasn't taken out again, like it should be Then I think of all the stories that happy women tell me and I yearn for men like they have that take care of what they need I would love for you to want me to be happy when I come home To have supper waiting for me and the dishes have been done the bedroom chaos picked up and a kiss upon your lips Wrap me gently in your strong arms and tell me how you're doing Let me feel the love outpouring from your heart and into mine Keep the roof above from leaking and the lawn all neat and pretty and by keeping up with those things I'd be grateful for all time But there's never any love here It's TV and your cell phone playing games and never talking Never taking care of me I work so hard all day long and a sancutary should be the place that I can go to when I've given all I can I need to feel I'm filled up, from a peaceul flowing fountain but my life runs at a deficit every hour every day. So let me tell you this to warn you The day will come that I don't call you That I don't turn the car down our street and I drive the other way I can't lose what I don't have here it can't make me any sadder to be alone out in the world when I'm alone with you each day. No tender touches waiting No kisses on my forehead No conversation ever about what our purpose is There is nothing more that I can do to give you any more There is nothing left inside me That hasn't all been poured I've been drained for twenty years Never once have I felt filled up after spending time with you I've given more than I have to you and all your needs and if it sounds selfish then that's the way it will be But I've not been kissed in so long Not been held or touched or felt love That all that's left of me is a cardboard cut-out girl I can't pay for your existence work overtime to make up for all the the time that you don't work and the money you don't have Even when the house is breaking you don't see the cracks appearing and I feel just like this house does cold, neglected, left alone Ive never been unfaithful Never reached out for another Never broke the vows that I made those many years aso But I can't go on in this way feeling less and less a woman Feeling tossed aside and used only for the money that I make So I'm passing by our street and I'm heading down a side road and if I don't see you, I wish you all the best. ause there's nothing here to hold me Our kids have grown and left me and you never even held me the night my mother passed away I can't tell you any more the things that I am needing You never ever get it you just wait for it to pass It's not passing by though this time I'm headed out to sea and If I never get to see you it was nice, but I don't need it I just want a hand to hold mine someone to really see That I'm a special person full of love and plans and purpose Full of things I have to share and things I need to be And I'm sorry that it took such a long time to arrive here But I thought that I was saving what was meant to be But really, should a person never feel the soft warm kisses that our hearts were meant to give Never feel her pulses quicken when a voice touches her ear The safe haven we are meant for Should be there for one another and if that's not existing we should push off from the shore And if I never find it If that peace remains elusive well at least I know I tried to I Lived and Loved along the way.

Talk to Me please......

Oh My Goodness.   Sometimes I just want to cry.  People can be so mean, and strike out with such hateful, cruel, untruths sometimes... I know it is just a defense mechanism... insecurity in their own abilities, their own person hood, their own perception of their place in life wreaks havoc with self-confidence.

That is so sad... I really do not understand why .... if they are confused or upset, they just don't Ask what is happening, try to stay in communication, listen and actually hear what is going on in the other people's minds and hearts.... Most of the time it is a false perception.... and it's on Both sides. 

I would like to think that Understanding, empathy and compassion are much more effective than name-calling, blaming and taking things out of context. 

Don't we all love each other? Don't we just want to be able to live our lives in peace and harmony as God's children?  We want to help, not harm, we want to understand, not judge, we want to enjoy our children, our parents our friends, and be as helpful as we can to those less fortunate.... and by helping them, I do not mean doing it For them. ;)
We want to discover our passion, follow our bliss, and enlighten others along the way. 

We have a need to Find our Joy.

And I should be happy for You, as You should be happy for me.  We don't intentionally try to hurt each other, but with miscommunication and misunderstanding and conclusion jumping it just becomes one big convoluted mess. 

I don't have to agree with you.  You don't have to agree with me. If you judge me, I will forgive you, because somehow your experience and feelings regarding yourself is what you are really judging.... you just see it in me.

But can't we Empathize with each other?  If we are all adults, then we have the same rights. To love and be loved.... but we don't do that by taking away from others because we can't find it in ourselves....

And if we can't find it in ourselves, someone else can't do it for us.

No amount of giving of Myself will allow You to find your true happiness. 
I know some people don't understand this, but I really hope that one day, all the hurtful blaming and misperception and resentment that causes their hearts to ache with discontent, be it lack of education, money, job security or a soul to soul relationship.... or any of the things that they feel entitled to, .... one day, they can realize, that it must be their own doing, their own path, their own hard work that will fill them with joy.

Not Mine.

And I myself need to realize, that as much as I love and adore them, any amount of enabling of them is not good for them, and their growth as a fully formed, well rounded member of society.
Trying to explain something they do not understand, only makes me frustrated. 
You can charm me, you can cajole me, you can even guilt me..... but that is My issue, and I will do my best, with the help of God, to do what is right. 
That does not mean giving you every piece of my heart, my soul, my life so that you can scarf it down and ask for more, because it was easy for you.
 
It isn't easy for me to learn, to earn, to live and love..... It is my own hard work, my own sorrow, my own life blood, my own triumphs that go into food for my soul, for my heart.  I give you all that is possible, and I try and teach you, and hope you learn the rest.

I am sorry you are so sad.... you have the methods and the tools to get to the bottom of your pain.  My tools won't work for you, we each have our own personalized set.

I love you, I adore you, and I hope one day all the extraneous noise of the world will fade away and you can find your true self.