We Are All Sisters

Yes, we are. Acknowledged or not.  Sisters of the Blood, Sisters of the Heart, Sisters of the Soul.  And we have brothers.  Why do we forget that really, we all came from the same place, and we will all go to the same end?  Birth, Life, Death.

What we do in the in-between....the Life part....that is what really matters.  The people, sisters, brothers you meet on your travels, enrich you, enlighten you.... some seem to help, some seem to hurt....but we Always Learn. 

It took me a long time to really Realize how interconnected we are.  Most of us don't live our lives in a vacuum.... even when we want to be alone.... we must poke our heads out of our turtle shells and tend to the business of life... work, groceries, eating and caring for our selves or our families. 

I thought that I always had to 'Do It Myself'.  And mainly, that's how I lived.  But sisters enrich us so... and not always the sisters we were born to.
Sisters that just 'connect' with you.  You can Feel the Click, like a seat belt being fastened, the sound of safety.
Sisters that touch your heart, that you feel extra caring of, that make you Feel the love you have inside you, and how you want to just pour it out upon them.

It amazes me that somehow we get caught up in the 'sister' in the next car over that cut us off, or the 'sister' that took an obscenely long time trying to order at the restaurant, because she wanted the cheeseburger, without the tomato, but could they put extra onions on, and then light mustard, but heavy mayo and and and.... after she dragged you there because they have 'the Best Food'. 

We must remember that we all do these things sometimes, maybe the one that cut us off was rushing to the hospital because her dad just had a heart attack, and she was only paying attention to the need to be there NOW.  I understand that. And someone who has to micromanage the kitchen and the way it prepares what she wants, well, maybe that is the only thing she feels she can control right now, what with 2 toddlers, a husband who travels for work and a weight issue.  We never know, but really, in some way or another, we've all been there.

So, at Christmas time, maybe we could remember a little more Peace On Earth, Goodwill To Men, and just, Let It Go.

Chaos

Origin:
1400–50; late Middle English < Latin < Greek; akin to chasm, yawn, gape

—Synonyms 1.  disarray, jumble, turmoil, tumult.

—Antonyms 1.  order, peace, calm.

 

I Will Not go back to That Place. I Will Not. Even if most things around me are in chaos, all jumbled up and confused, I have carved out a few things that, even though it takes careful thought, I have made Organized.  Like Where I put my debit card and license.  In My Purse.  EveryTime.  It has taken me Years to figure this out.  And I rarely lose it anymore. I try to Think about what I am doing. 

 

I Write on my calendar my appointments. I am much better about this, but I have already misplaced 2 calendar's this year. Not So Great. :( 

I Organize myself at work, I am diligent about it, I am persistant, I am.... well, I still find myself sometimes, in that 11th hour of work, scrambling. But I am totally aware of what I do that puts me behind. And I continue to work hard to bring that under control.

I don't know if all the chaos in my house, or in my head, or in my relationships is there because I think it is necessary.  It screens me from the true issues.

Yes, I have at least figured that out.

It makes me feel that I work best Under Pressure.  Only because I Must ....because I procrastinate, and wait until I Have To buckle down and get it done.

 

I still lose my keys, my purse, my glasses, on a regular basis.

Is this on purpose? Because then it forces someone to help me find them?

Hmmmm.... that is an interesting thought.  Because I always feel that I never have help, that always I must do things on my own.  Perhaps it forces me to Ask for Help.  Because I Must.

 

I cannot control everything.

Actually, I cannot control Anything.  Except me and My reactions.  Isn't that right? ;)

Yea, I thought so. Dang Logic.

 

So now, with this little sliding back, forgetting to pay a bill, being oh so late for an appointment.... I used to just cancel them, but I didn't with this one, I actually acknowledged that I had messed up, and went anyway. . . . Why did I do that? 

 

Organize, think straight, forethought, prepare, plan, and do. 

I think I need to make a Things I Need To Examine About Me list.

 

Oh goodness gracious, if I write it down, then I will have to do something about it.  How scary is That???

 

Call the Dr. and Keep the appointment.

Commit to School.

Eat better, and feed my brain, not my belly. :)

Learn....really, Learn to Meditate.

 

What a list. 

Begin.

Again.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Sometimes all you need is your friends.
And sometimes, just one.
To make your day happier, healthier (as in less stressful) and Complete.
I love those friends that I just Connect with.
The ones that just Get Me. The way I am, and if we end up not understanding, we can talk it out.
So great, so easy, so perfect.

That was my best present, getting to sit and talk, and share with my friend.
Sorry my hubby pouted a little, not too much though.
And my kids didn't ask to go, which was good.
I didn't really want to go out for my birthday and have to pay for everyone myself.  Kind of takes the gift out of it.

My Wonderful Auntie sang me the Birthday Song, as always, and I LOVE that.
My sisters sent me cards and texts, and that was great.
My brother called and said he loved me, and that was a surprize, since lately he's been quite short tempered.
And my mom, up in Heaven, well, she is always with me.  I know though, that it is only 1 more week now, till her deathday.  I remember thinking, when she died, ..... She never would have thought, on the night that I was born, that she would only live 49 years and a week from that day.  Would it have made a difference if she knew?  Probably. Maybe we wouldn't have had lazy shopping days, just sit around and do nothing days.  We would have had, I've got to get this done, and the time is running out days, full of stress and fear perhaps. 
I would have loved to have her longer, but this is what we got, and even if it's not as long as most, it's more than some, and it was the Plan. Not mine, but a greater Plan.

I also received tons of Birthday wishes on FaceBook, texts and emails.
And especially from people I really really love, like PF, that really means alot.

Even if Everyone doesn't love me, or understand me, or even want to..... Lots of people do, and that is the Plan, for now.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Mobile blogging....who knew??

From the book: Poems Of Today

HOUSEHOLD GODS

J.H. Macnair

The baby takes to her bed at night
A one-eyed rabbit that once was white;
A watch that came from a cracker, I think;
And a lidless inkpot that never held ink.
And the secret is locked in the tiny breast
Of why she loves these and leaves the rest.

And I give a loving glance as I go
To three brass pots on a shelf in a row;
To my grandfather's grandfather's loving-cup,
And a bandy-legged chair I once picked up.
And I can't, for the life of me, make you see
Why just these things are a part of me!


Poems Of Today
copyright 1924 Alice Cecilia Cooper

Digging

Digging into the past, whether you want to or not, becomes necessary sometimes. 
Like when you have to go through all the leftover papers and paid bills and grocery lists and receipts of someone else's life.
Like when they die.

It isn't intentional, that this mess is left, even when it is a neatly bundled, correctly filed, alphabetical order of 50 or so years of their life. All of their life. From the time they got married (and sometimes before) they bundle and wrap and file away all the bits, keeping them in order, then there is a catastrophe, like one of the two dies, and it becomes exceedingly anal, all the life insurance, every bit of correspondence, all of it.
Filed in boxed, shoved into Ziploc bags, bundled with rubber bands.
What do I do with bank statements and paid bills that are 20 years old. They can't help me now. Because the rest of the story....what the check was for, if it was a loan, if it got paid back, why the receipts were kept, the ink is faded, it is all a great big mystery.
Maybe the questions could be answered, but now the owner is no longer there, or has a debilitating disease, or has dementia, or.... a million other things.
The papers become nonsense.
Except.
That they have a story too.  A trail, a telling of the events in a life. The camping stickers, when the family went to Mackinac.  The warranty on the flute when the daughter was in high school.  The program from the play that the sister was in. The times, the memories, though unable to be embellished, those stories are there, and locked away, only in the memories of the players.
Do you remember when we.....
That's when Daddy did.....
Remember that time when she was rushed to the hospital for....

One great big remember party.  Without the guest of honor.

Spring

Spring.  Warm weather, new life, damp air and sunshine.  New, begin again, or just.... Begin. 
Snow is melting and the sun is out, the icicles are dripping and the crocus are pushing out.  So many things we want to do, why don't we just start, instead of waiting.
Spring...jump off, dive in, live life.....Be Brave.

Words, phrases, life.

This blog is awesome and uplifting for me.

all i did was listen

She has beautiful drawings, with meaningful insights.

Goodness Gracious

Oh my....people are just human....need to remember that. And remember that they can be inappropriate, rash, rude and just plain mean sometimes. 

What a way to end the week.  I had  a 'run in' with the local tax collector's office, wherein I discovered that knowledge of how to run a business, business practices or even common sense are not required to work for the government.  I suppose I always suspected, but do have high regard for some of the people that work there. 
But you would think that I, as a taxpayer, would at least be able to finish a sentence before I was interrupted while trying to explain something, or that the secretary to whom I handed the letter, would at least Read It, before she told me I was wrong. 
Oh my.  Well, I did gain some serious knowledge on who Not To Vote For..... Ever... In Any upcoming election. :)
Ah, democracy at work.

Sigh.....

My friend PF tells me that I am not responsible for other people's actions.  And I know that, I really do.  We are each responsible for ourselves.  Only. We can encourage, we can help, we can pray, we can love...but still, people will be who they are.  PF helps me see that I need to surround myself with people that do not cause me great distress, that do not pull the chains of guilt that bind my heart.
I can still love those people of course, and I can listen to them, but I need not take their problems into myself, and try to solve them.
I do not need, nor can I, make their issues greater than my own....because then I let myself become unimportant.  And God says I am important, and only I can have the perfect solution for my troubles.  My solutions won't fit them, and not only because they aren't me, but because, If a person doesn't have to put in any thought, any heart, any energy into finding and designing a solution, they won't implement it because it is 'too hard'. 
If they did the work themselves, and didn't have it handed to them, then maybe they could see that the solution to the problem is worth the effort. 
It's kind of like giving a 16 year old a new Mustang.....they want it so bad, it makes them so happy, but they won't value it, or take care of it, or even realize it's worth. 
Until they have to pay for it themselves.
Just sayin. :)

Driving

OK. We did it, practiced the driving in the snow.
He liked it of course, not a lot of sliding though...antilock brakes. ....who knew? :)

But something got done, and hopefully he'll post it for school

Tomorrow, have appointments, and things I really need to do....
To start, to get done.
I'll work on it.

Practice

I need to write. Everyday.
And I don't.
Because....well, I just procrastinate.
But how do we get better at something without Doing It? How does the natural inclination or ability get better? Improve? Become great?
Practice.
I don't like to practice.  Sometimes it's boring. Sadly, it is necessary though.  And I know that, I just need to Live it. :)

My kids don't like to practice things either...my sad legacy I suppose.
Therefore, school and they do not get along.
But perhaps, I need to encourage it more, and try to make it fun. 
They like to 'practice' driving.....lets see if we can wed the two.
I'll let you know more tomorrow.
At least, that is my intent.